It is a hard thing for me to admit, but there have been many times I have taken a ride on the comparison train. It is easy to hitch a ride on this train, but not an easy journey. It is rather bumpy and takes you through a tunnel of envy and self-pity, leading nowhere at all. It can be hard to jump off as the tunnel goes further and further into the dark, but with the right techniques and realization of what train you are riding it is possible to make it stop.
I am guilty of comparing myself to those I love most. My closest friends, even family. In the past, I have acted happy for a friend, who achieved something great when secretly I was not genuine. I would feel sorry for myself, for not being in the same position, or achieving whatever they had.
I am also guilty of comparing myself to complete strangers or celebrities. In a world where social media rules every spare minute of the day, looking into the best parts of others lives and comparing yours to theirs can easily become an everyday habit.
In the past when I had no knowledge of how to reflect on myself, trips on the comparison train would go way too far and long. I would become more self-absorbed trying to keep up with those around me, instead of focusing on how I could be the best me.
Fortunately, now I can feel when I am triggered and change my viewpoints. Practicing gratitude and surrendering to my destined path have been main helpers in stopping the train. The more I remind myself of everything I have and what I love about my life, the less I care what others have, and can be genuinely happy for their success. The more I let go of control, and let God’s plan lead my way, the more I have faith I too will have the same, similar or even better (in my perspective) experiences.
Realizing that for the most part, what is shared on social media are highlights of larger lives that have their ups and downs, puts things in perspective too. I am guilty in that my Instagram and Facebook accounts only show the fun I am having, which is only a glimpse into my larger life that has its challenges too.
Finally, the most important thing I have learned is that we are all so uniquely different, with different experiences, different paths, and different journeys. Understanding that no one is exactly like me makes it easy to stop comparing because it is not an equal comparison. Learning to accept myself and working towards bettering my unique qualities, creates happiness, wholeness, and comfort, freeing me from the comparison.
For more tips and tools to find freedom from the comparison train, and acceptance of who you are, where you are at and what you have, read “How to Stop Envying Other People’s Seemingly Perfect Lives”, by Sonia Devine. Travel safely!